WIGAN CHAIRMAN INSTALLS SHARK TANK

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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/wigan-chairman-installs-shark-tank-200911232248/

THE chairman of Wigan Athletic is to install a tank full of sharks under the home dressing room in a bid to sharpen his squad's competitive instincts.

Following the team's thrashing by Tottenham Hotspur of all people, Dave Whelan warned that instead of half-time substitutions and three weeks in the reserves, under-performing players will simply drop through a trap door and be ripped apart and devoured within seconds.

Whelan said: "When you're paying out more than £1m a week in wages to a group of supposedly well-trained professionals it is reasonable to expect those professionals not to lose nine fucking one.

"To that end, I'll be fitting car bombs to their Aston Martins, hiring Ninjas to lurk in the dark corners of their mock-Tudor mansions and each training session will end with the re-enactment of one of my favourite scenes from The Deer Hunter. Didi mao anyone?

"And to all those who say 'oh come on Dave, they tried their best' I would simply reply 'Tottenham Hotspur'.

"If it had been Man United or Chelsea then I'd have probably gone for a tank full of electric eels - a nasty shock, but nothing fatal. But I'm afraid losing 9-1 to Spurs means that someone has to die."

He added: "While you're here, meet Brian, our new assistant manager. He's a four-year-old male leopard with anger management issues, an empty stomach and electrodes stapled to his knackers.

"I dare you to let him down."

Morg (putting his body armour on)
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MORG'S CONSIDERED OPINION

Perhaps the biggest traitor this country has ever had was Ted Heath.

After thinking about this traitor for quite some time, it is my considered opinion that we ought to dig him up and kill him again.

Just to make sure.

Morg
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ACCREDITED WEBSITES

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Whatever that's supposed to mean in this context ... you know who you are. Is this "accredited" enough for you?

http://wallstreetpit.com/12324-fear-and-loathing-in-global-warming

You can have ONE comment.

Just to give you a start - some short quotes from the CRU emails:

to hide the decline.


we can’t account for the lack of warming


this isn’t about truth


Leave it to you to delete as appropriate!


I will be hiding behind them.


get him ousted.


It would be good to remove at least part of the 1940s blip


cut the last few points off ... as that’s trending down


“it is time to pull the curtain down on this crap and start locking up all of the proponents - starting with AL GORE.”


The assumption of false figures in models in order to boost future projections is fraudulent.

If you want contexts for those, go read the article.

Morg
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