IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN...

Nicked from Old Holborn (I thought it might be useful)


http://www.oldholborn.net/2010/10/seasonal-advice.html

That time of year is coming round again. The time that reminds me of The Cleansing of the Temple. Yes, I'm on about Christmas, and since I work for Her Majness's Mail I thought I would pass on a few tips on how to get your cards from your local shop to your family's, friends' and enemies-you-pretend-to-likes' mantlepieces with the minimum of time and damage. Much of this also applies to mailing stuff in general.

First, do be sensible about the size and shape of what you send. If you send an enormous card with a normal first- or second-class stamp your recipient is likely to have to pay the the price difference for a large letter or packet, plus a quid handling charge.

Similar charges apply to odd shapes eg triangles.

In my place collection mail from post boxes is dumped into a hopper at one end of an IMP (Integrated Mail Processor) and stuff like packets and Large Letters are ejected at various points along the way to ordinary letters/cards being sorted by the machine.

For the machine to sort the letters certain criteria must be met eg

1) The colour of the envelope is important. I kid you not. If the machine cannot determine the address its picture is sent along a wire to one of a few centres in the country and a human at the other end reads this and types in the postcode on a keyboard. The machine prints an identifying code and the postcode on the envelope (in the form of bar codes) which is shunted off to one side for re-feeding into the IMP at a later time.

Why is the colour important? Well at my place the bar codes are printed in red ink and if the envelope is red then the machine often cannot tell the difference between the shades. Also, dark coloured envelopes can cause problems, probably due to lack of contrast.

Stuff that can't be sorted by machine for any reason is sent for manual sorting.

2) If you use a printer eg for address labels, FFS don't use fancy fonts. The machines can't read them.

3) Handwriting. I know mine is shite but I now know enough to be very careful about writing out the postcode. LA (Lancaster) postcodes can be read as CA (Carlisle) and vice versa. There are plenty of other examples I could go into but I can't be arsed and if you bloody well do as you're told the problem shouldn't arise again anyway.

4) If you've written Dave and Sue's names on the envelope but can't find their address FFS keep it separate from the other envelopes. Otherwise it'll get dropped into the post box along with the stuff that *is* addressed. At the end of each shift at Christmas every manual sorter's worktop has a small mountain of stuff with names only on it. Dave and Sue won't get their card and will hate you until the end of eternity and will burn your effigy alongside the yule log every year.

5)Please be aware that "High Street" as the last line of an address is not very helpful. You might mean the High Street in your charming little hamlet but the stuff from the post box there gets dumped into the hopper mentioned above along with letters from post boxes covering a hundred square miles. There will be plenty of other "High Streets" in that area. And lots more in the rest of the country.

This is why post codes are important. A post code covers 60 to 100 addresses (depending on who you ask) and a house or flat number followed by the post code is really all we need to get the letter to the right address.

6) Redirections/Moved Away/Deceased/Return to Sender etc.

If the addressee has moved and you write or stick the new address on the envelope and put it in a post box, it will be redirected free of charge. It's all part of the service.

If you want to return a letter unopened write "Return to Sender" or "RTS" on it and put it in a post box. It will be returned free of charge. It's all part of the service.

If you start writing messages to the sender on the envelope don't be surprised if we send it back to you with a note saying there is not enough postage. Stick your own stamp on it. If you want to have intercourse with somebody you're going to have to pay for it. It's what it's what postal services are about, after all.

Royal Mail has an official redirections service. You have to pay for it, of course. At your "old" delivery office a note is put in the pigeon hole for your old address. Anything arriving for you is marked as first class and put back into the system. This saves the letters going to your old address and the new people there only dealing with it when they can be bothered. Or opening them for purposes of blackmail.

One Christmas I got a card delivered to my address but with someone else's name on it. I wrote "Not at this address" on it and posted it. A few days later it came back. I wrote "Still not at this address" on it and posted it again. A few more days later it arrived a third time. I wrote "Still still not at this address" on it. This time it worked. Probably a sociology student in a seasonal job.

NOTE TO POSTIES. When you put the red sticker on an envelope giving the reason for non-delivery please do not, I repeat DO NOT stick it over the return address. Thank you.

Pricks.

7)Widow envelopes.....

Are a pain in the arse. Either the letter is folded so that it is smaller than the envelope so that it slides around to the bottom and the town or postcode can't be seen by the machine and it has to be sent to manual.

OR

It fits well but the address runs off the bottom of the window and is hidden by the paper part of the envelope. Recalibrating printers should sort this out. A certain local authority is particularly staffed by halfwits in this respect. The usual recourse is to pick away at the bottom of the window until one can see the full address. This, however takes time. Fuck what the envelope looks like after that.

8)Letters to Santa.

One colleague once remarked that all letters to Santa should be marked "Deceased. Return to Sender." He was also famous for his hatred of small children. But I digress.

If it's addressed to Santa in Lapland/ North Pole and has the correct postage it will be sent to Finland, where Lapland is located (or some of it, anyway.) I suppose they will get a reply from there. We do have some sort of arrangement. Unless the Laps just burn them to keep warm.

If the letter has only domestic postage and the address is written in Welsh then it goes to Cardiff. I don't know what happens to Welsh language letters addressed to Lapland with the correct postage. Perhaps there are Welsh-speaking reindeer herders.

Other letters to Santa with only domestic postage go to Belfast for reasons which I can't be arsed to find out.

Here are a few URLs which you might find useful.

Last Posting Dates

http://www2.royalmail.com/christmas-last-posting-dates?tid=1554&x=67&y=13

Price Finder

http://sg.royalmail.com/portal/rm/PriceFinder?catId=23500532&gear=pricingcalc&campaignid=pricefinder_redirect

Postcode Finder

http://postcode.royalmail.com/portal/rm/postcodefinder?catId=400145&pageId=pcaf_pc_search&gear=postcode&forcesegment=SG-Personal

Redirections

http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm/content1?catId=600008&mediaId=50900695

Morg
.

TO: Diane Abbot MP................

LAUREN BOOTH - I AM A MUSLIM

What an IGNORANT cow.
But then again what could we really expect from someone whose sister and brother-in-law like to murder other people for money and in the name of peace ?

A LITTLE REMINDER OF WIGAN'S HATE-CRIME COORDINATOR COMMENTS TO THE PEOPLE OF THE BOROUGH!

The comment below was submitted by the previously spoken of cretin Elliot Brown - who is employed as Wigan Council's Hate-Crime Coordinator. He responds to this particular article here Man labels Wigan most racist place in Britain ......I also have some very useful archived email correspondences with Elliot in which I question him about just how much hate crime he actually coordinated for the council at our expense? And which I'll dig out sometime and show you just how unstable this left-wing fruitcake actually is!!

Anyway here goes...........(Nothing has been added or removed on this comment...his English really is that bad).


elliot,17/01/2008 12:28:33

Imbeciles was the old name for those children that are borne from incestuous relationships. It is a little known fact that a certain area within the borough of wigan and leigh had the highest rate of imbeciles in the UK. Its true to say that at one point in the history of the borough....some fathers thought on it as their priveledge to de-flower their daughters. Infact in some areas, it was the expectation.Thank goodness for new blood coming into the Borough. The aggression from some people on the issue of 'new blood coming into the area' is, the view of many,...that this is infact remnants of 'the good old days',..as it were.

ELLIOT BROWN, EEJIT BRAUN. LEECH - YOUR DIVERSITY OFFICER IN WIGAN

I wonder what sort of work EEDJIT BRAUN or should I say Elliot Brown does ?

What does he do for the people of our town besides leeching a wage from the Council Tax we pay ?

Does he look for ways to punish the Indigenous British living in Wigan for being TOO WHITE ?
Does he vet all Job applications in our town to make sure that it doesn't go to a WHITE person if their is an unemployed Immigrant available to do it?

It doesn't matter if the Indigenous Job Seeker is qualified for the Job as we have to give OUR JOBS to the NON-ETHNIC, NON-BRITISH who are unqualified to do the job.

What use can he have to this town and its people?

Is his job a RACIST JOB where his aim is to solely look after the needs and wants of the ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, ILLEGAL ASYLUM SEEKERS, ILLEGAL REFUGEES, which our council have allowed to settle here ?

And whilst I have mentioned ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, ILLEGAL ASYLUM SEEKERS, ILLEGAL REFUGEES - Are Wigans Council Tax payers being duped are they in fact AIDING AND ABETTING A CRIME as none of the aformentioned are here Legally and may be MURDERERS, RAPISTS, PEADOPHILES, TERRORISTS, MONEY LAUNDERERS, PEOPLE TRAFFICKERS, PIMPS AND PROSTITUTES, FORCED LABOUR, CHILD EXPLOITERS, THIEVES, MUGGERS, GANGSTERS, DRUG TRAFFICKERS, DRUG DEALERS, FRAUDSTERS ETC?

How would we know what sort of people these ILLEGALS are ?

Maybe BRAUN could find out, that maybe within his Job Description but I very much doubt it.

Could your hard earned wages be going to pay for their HOUSING, FURNITURE, FLAT SCREEN TV, TV LICENCE, PLAYSTATIONS, HEALTH, CHILD BENEFIT, UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFIT, DISABILITY LIVING ALLOWANCE, INCAPACITY BENEFIT, TRAVEL COSTS, INTERPRETERS, ELECTRICITY AND GAS, WATER, TRANSPORT INCLUDING CARS, PETROL, MECHANICAL REPAIRS (We know that many ignore Britains Traffic Laws and drive around without having taken a Driving Test, drive without Insurance, pay no road tax, not bother with an MOT) I may have missed a few but you get the gist of it.

Now, WHAT DOES ELLIOT BRAUN DO FOR A PIECE OF YOUR WAGE PACKET EVERY WEEK ?

Answers on a postcard to -
ELLIOT BROWN,
RACIST AND RACISM ENFORCEMENT OFFICER,
WIGAN MBC,
KILL WHITEY FOR BEING HIDEOUSLY WHITE,
24 HOUR SURVEILLANCE ON WHAT WHITEY IS DOING.
TOWN HALL,
P.O. BOX "NUDGE, NUDGE, WINK, WINK, SAY NO MORE".

All replies will be ignored and burnt within 24 hours of receipt.

THE ECONOMICS OF THE MAD HOUSE.

Calls to axe the ‘non-jobs'

So now we know it. Wigan Metro spends over £350,000 on "Diversity Officers", and another four people are employed to attempt to get EU funding for the borough. I presume this does not include office costs, heating and lighting etc.

Manchester gets by without any of these useless bureaucrats while Bolton has two.

At least we can be thankful that we do not have a "Climate Change Officer" like Warrington.

So what could we do with £350,000 if we did away with these non jobs?

Well we could build 3 council houses per year. This would employ building workers, brickies, joiners,plumbers,electricians etc to build the houses.
They in turn would need the materials with which to build the houses, bricks, plumbing materials, timber etc which would give other people a job.
These people would spend their earnings in local shops and so the circulation of jobs and money would go on.
That is why putting money into primary producers (eg housebuilders etc) brings 3 or 4 times as much money per pound than government jobs which live off the backs of the former and put back into the economy only what they have taken from it.

So in the last ten years we could have housed thirty families and given employment to perhaps as many tradesmen. These households would now be paying rent and council taxes to the Metro which would help them financially.

This is all basic economics, productive workers as well as producing assets provide employment for four others down the line as well as having an end product.
That is not to say that all workers must be producers. We need people to teach the kids, heal the sick, empty the bins etc and even a FEW to keep the books but the latter pen pushers should be kept to the bare minimum.

The reason the buraucracy has been allowed to swell is that those in control are not spending their own money. Also they are themselves bureaucrats and do not see they are in effect living off the backs of the productive members of society, and they do not understand economics.

Who created these posts which other councils manage without? Was it the overpaid Chief Excecutive who is on £70,000 more than the Prime Minister?. BTW who fixed her salary? Or was it agreed by our so called representitives, the councillors who are supposed to have our interests at heart?.
How has this come to light? Because of a FOI request. How many other needless extravagances will be uncovered by more digging?

This waste is a heavy cost on society. Those responsible should be sacked for incompetence.
Then perhaps we could preserve the services we value while at the same time cutting council taxes and business rates. If the latter were reduced they would not need people to promote our town. Businesses would flock to us and our prosperity and the future of our children would be assured.

So in a nutshell. Do away with these non jobs and put the money saved into productive investment in our town.

ELLIOT MUST GO, together with his parasitic mates. Perhaps he could get a useful job. If he does I will buy him a shovel

WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE WAR DADDY ?

What did you do in the war Daddy , the war to save our race. Come on, please tell me true Daddy, I am sure it’s no disgrace….

Did you march with your British brothers Daddy, did you hold our banner high, or did you just sit at home and watch our country die?

Did you take to the streets Daddy, when right was on our side, or did you think of your own skin, and run away to hide?

When you saw the jobs for “Muslims only” Daddy, did you shout out loud in protest, or did you keep silent just like all the rest?

When the union bullies told you Daddy not to vote for our men, did you tell them all to go to Hell and not come back again?

Did you speak out for the truth Daddy, did you spread the word, or did you live in fear Daddy and not let your voice be heard?

Please tell me what you did Daddy. I’ve often wondered who could see the British race overrun, and why we are so few.

You need not feel ashamed, my son because I had a dream, to open up my kinfolk’s eyes to Islams infernal scheme.

But when I spoke, they turned away and closed up their ears. I could not make them understand the reason for my fears, and when we marched we were so few, just fifty men and me. The others stayed at home in fear and watched it on TV.

I’m proud to say I played a part and say that I fought well, that’s why I lost my livelihood and wound up in a cell.

The reason that we lost, my son was not that we weren’t brave, but that the ones we battled for were not worth our while to save

ANON

Nicked from London Patriot Blog -

http://www.londonpatriot.org/2010/10/23/what-did-you-do-in-the-war-daddy/